It is all too easy to get caught up in work place conflicts, when this happens
your reactions to situations can cause stress on top of an already busy work load. Next time you feel the rise of frustration keep these 9 things in mind and you could handle the situation from your heart rather then your head.
1. You do not have to 'fix' people or solve their problems.
As human beings we like to talk and share our problems with others and this can be a healthy way of connecting with others. However if you go in to the conversation with the perception that you are there for the purpose of fixing or solving the other person's problem, immediately you have the pressure on you to do so. You may have many of your own problems to solve and adding the problems of others can push you to feel overloaded and overwhelmed. Remember that it is not your responsibility to have all the answers to other people's problems.
2. Provide space and listen - let people feel whatever it is they need to feel.
Providing an objective listening ear is invaluable within teams and relationships. Keeping quiet and letting the other person have the space to express their feelings can uncover many things for the person speaking. Remember that this may be the only time and place that they feel comfortable enough to speak.
3. There is no need to offer advise, pushing, distraction or direction.
If you try to offer advise or push someone to do something that you suggested, they may not react in the way that you hoped they would. By offering advise you may think that you are helping but often we are only pushing our own agenda on to their problem. If you opt for distracting from the given topic, the other person may walk away feeling like you do not care about what they have to say and a disconnection happens. If you offer a direction it will be from your own life map and not theirs. If you have provided the space and listened to the other person you may find that they will answer their own questions and know exactly what to do!
4. Good intentions can stop others from learning, growing or even achieving their full potential.
Many good intentions unfortunately do not lead to success, we often try to make things as easy as possible for people as we do not want the other person to feel pain or the struggle. If we take away the struggle, the failures and the motivation to keep on trying to reach success, we are stopping people from learning through their own experience. If we deny the person the experience to do this then we are in the way of their learning.
5. You do not know what is best for another.
Each person's journey and experience is different - it is what makes us wonderful individuals. Each person learns in a different way and perceives life in their own perspective. With this in mind our own perception of a problem may be completely different from another person's so how can we know what is best for another? Only you know what is best for you.
6. Have faith in the unfolding of life and the natural learning process.
Trust that the other person will figure things out. It may take a short amount time or it may take a long amount of time, but that time belongs to them and it will be the exact amount of time they need. Every person has a natural learning process, by having faith you are holding their learning in the highest of respect.
7. Respect another's path as it will be different from yours.
We are the same, yet all different. Before you assume or pass judgement remember that we are all walking a different path, one is not harder than the other as all paths come to challenging points at different times. Respect that this may be a challenging time in someone's path and it may not be comparable to your path.
8. Believe that people are more capable than you realize.
Given time, space and the right amount of support people can achieve amazing things. If you have the mind set that someone is capable you may be surprised how they rise to the challenge.
9. Choose to respond in kindness.
Sometimes the moment of frustration or anger is simply not about you at all, it is about the way the other person is feeling. Choose to offer kindness and connection - it might be just what the other person needs.
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